trying to figure out the laziest way that I can do this. The simpler I make this, the higher likelyhood that I will actually type on this thing instead of on facebook or twitter or whatever.

This past 4-day Christmas weekend flew by in a flash. My immediate take is that it was not restful. Fruitful, yes, but not restful. Each day we pretty much hung out with someone or other, and then on Sunday we did a whole bunch of house chores, which is not all that enjoyable for me. I have much hope placed on this upcoming vacation in a week. There's always something magical about being somewhere far away... or just a place where "responsibility" can be put on the shelf for a while.

this is my very first ever post from my mobile device. Fab.

cities that april and I will never live in because we absolutely despise the traffic: torrance, rowland heights, and of course the city I am currently stuck in, alhambra - a place that really should just revert back to using bicycles and rickshaws.

I am at ledos with the arimas

every day is a flaming cheetos and coffee day. side note: must learn george michaels "careless whisper" sax solo on the guitar.

just committed a .java file for my first time to the client's repository. I'm having a scary front-end programmer moment. Definitely.

caffeine withdraw dgwhdkfjgb bvhyeksv,fkhegvdhd meh

at kaiser right now. April threw up 4 times this morning. I am just waiting to hear what is going on. These kinds of things are hard for me because usually April will have random symptoms with no forewarning or understanding of the source. I really want her to be ok, but I hate that I have no idea how to facilitate that. I want to be more loving and comforting, and yet I just feel really confused. God, what are you showing me here? Please heal April if it is in your plan.

will soon learn what it means to miss new orleans.

"how the food was?"

waiting for sadness to turn to joy.

yesterday: lunch at baimon with ryan, kc, doug, april. I ordered spicy and that's how it came. Went to d.t. Disney and tried beignets which were a bit heavier and sweeter than the nola equiv, but still quite close.

today: woken at 7:30 by two repairmen needing to get in our apt to fix the drywall in our restroom. Neither knew enough english to understand me when I said that we needed to use the restroom to get ready for the day. Had counseling, went to berkeley dog in brea for the first time. It was tasty. Walked around d.t. Brea to discover that anything that isn't a bar closes promptly at 9. Now at target, april will buy cat crunchies for marble kitty, the hallway cat. Note to self: must shower tonight before repairmen possibly re-barge into our apt in the morning.

yester-yesterday: spent the morning house cleaning, grabbed del taco, had more unpleasant driving experiences in a 99 ranch parking lot in alhambra, and went to chris's housewarming party. Party was good, got catch up with many church folk all in one shot (something that is difficult to do on a Sunday after service ends before people are whisped away to lunch meetings and what-nots). Came home to a repainted bathroom which was nice until april got a migraine attack and she was rushed to sleep it off. I got a subway sandwich and learned how to make my photos look "old".

yesterday: wanted to go to church, but got a late start. April was unable to finish her WELL application (notice previous post) and I felt like our schedule was going to be way too packed for the day, so we skipped church. Went to the pancake house, did the "tina turner" fire 45 workout (was kinda dreading it cuz I'm not that familiar with it, but I didn't screw up too bad) and picked up april's folks in bellflower to head down to irvine for the great "combining" of families for chinese new year. Ended up being a pretty good time - seemed like the parents bonded well (and with out any need from me to deflect conversations about we-know-what). Got to catch up with joh on life, and about friends who.. don't catch up much (again, will leave it there). Note to self: arrange gathering with Joh + Arimas. Overall feelings about weekend: busy, went well, feels like I had no weekend. This was my general prediction prior to the weekend, so... Good job?

I found that disc two of my "Louisiana Spice" disc is all zydeco I'm happy about this.

yesterday: worked. Went to the the container store and the camp in costa mesa (only restaurants were open). Ate at Native Foods, which was our first legit vegan restaurant experience. It was impressively good. Stayed up late to take care of client work.

my heart hurts.

just migrated to meebo for a bit... signed onto yahoo chat. Let's see how many ghosts I run into in the closet.

it only takes me one song to take me there. I can't believe it's been so long...

Gah, I'm so dumb.

ive been wanting to do some interesting this with site site. just need to find time and motivation and all sorts of other lame excuses.

im gonna sleep now...zz

I am here, just here. I'm not there, or over there, or there in a place I might like to be. I am here, in the place I am. I'm not sure how long I'll be where I currently am, but I do wish to move slowly towards the place I'd like to be. But in the time being where I am, I hope to learn to be happy(er) with where I am, and yet still look forward to where I'll be. And I do certainly hope I get to move to where I'll be, because if I stay where I am, I might wish I wasn't stuck where I am. Until then, I am here. Wherever this is.

No dinner.

If I'm not well, nothing is well. Most of the time I'm ok with this situation, but last night I just felt so tired.

Worst. Class. Ever.

So in my intro to cecs class tonight, this asian dude came in. Nerdy lookin, skinny, walked and talked like he was ready to pick a fight.

He basically yelled at everyone about how "sadistic" his latest job intervew with Google was. But he didn't pitch it like it was extreme or weird, he pitched it to us like we're all subpar. He talked down to of us. I was shaking with anger at this guy.

He didn't speak well, he didn't have any real experience, he just knew how to yell and boss people around. He called several students up one by one to give them "mock interviews", asking them for low-level nitty gritty "tricky" coding questions. He made a lot of absurd generalizations about tech companies, and told everyone, "If you don't know this or that/can't answer these questions, don't even think about applying at a tech company."

I knew if he called on me, I would've given him a mouthful. Whether the mouthful would've been cohesive or not, I don't know, but I was fed up. I asked him what jobs he's had: one internship at the VA hospital, and he tutors on campus in math. Whoopie.

I don't like lies. I don't like people being misled. I don't like people discouraging others for no legitimate reason.

I'm trying to unwind... it's not easy.

Life, oh life. Amongst being thankful for things, I am in a very complainy place.

I recently had flashbacks of trying to help the church with their website and infrastructure. For the record, the things they are doing now are things I suggested 3.5 years ago. I don't really feel like helping certain people anymore.

Asians are passive. Done with that point.

Been helping friends... which has been good, but draining of course. I hope there will be fruit someday. It's funny how friends and "friends" soon filter themselves out.

I don't want to think about anything anymore. That sounds nice.

one bad twitch and its all. down. the drain.

I'd like to disappear now, please. Sooner the better.

Can't sleep, stomach is being funny from Korean spicies I had for dinner last night. I find it tragically ironic how I am allergic to jalapenos.

Dad called me just to tell me that one of my aunts basically stole one of my condominiums in Thailand (passed down to me from my mom), put it in her own name, and is receiving the rent from it now. My dad wants me to pick a fight with this aunt.

I really, really, REALLY don't want to give a crap. It was always hard to read who was telling the truth, or who was lying, or who was omitting information, but through my mom's words it always felt like there was a lot of crap like this going down with her side of the family. A lot of stuff happening behind people's backs, and lying to save face etc. I really don't feel like taking part in any of that. I really don't trust any of these people. I don't feel like I am part of that mentality. Or at least I don't want to be.

This very same aunt who "appears" to be cheating me, finally just gave me back my mom's inheritance money that was originally willed to me to begin with. There was a lot of tension there, and that helped to heal that. But now it just feels like crap piled onto crap.

If things get any worse, I am going to move to some remote island halfway across the universe and call it a day. Thanks.

each day I am realizing more and just how broken I am... and the grace that I need for all of the broken people around me.

I just spelled genious wrong today. I guess my fate has been sealed.

Today I do not feel like I belong here. Id like to go lay in a grass field. In this field there is only one tree. I am almost under it, but not totally. There is also one cloud. The scene is out of focus. There is a light breeze that comes in waves. The breeze is a little cool, but its nice because the sun is a little warm.

In this place there is the most soothing music. Im not wearing headphones, the source is not discernable, but its faint, and its there. Its kind of a wash of tones that come in and out, with a slow, lulling rhythm to it. Kind of like the plucking or strumming of 12 guitars on a rotating merry-go-round. There are random, sparkly chimes.

While lying, I am going in and out. There is an eternal sunset... the warm tones leading up into violet skies. It doesnt matter that Im awake, knocked-out, or heavy eyed, there are no deadlines in this place. Not much of anything to clean, or water, or stamp and mail. This is where I can just be.

so many feelings, so little time.

why do people ask "how are you" and then walk away?

new roll, 2x april in front of photo sign

1 photo, jon and ryan at work +1.3 stop

several flower photos off of freeway

2 photos at 118

2 photos, aprils folks and computer, mom and aprils nails

2 photos at claws (about an hour ago)

3 photos, turbo

1 terry at fu fu

2 cat photos, one at 1.4 accidentally

2 shots car getting towed

1 photo cereal on desk with april, +3 stops

2 photos april on sidewalk

1 photo newspapers at walgreens

1 at home depot

1 back pack in parking lot

4 photos, bag in grass

2 photos, bag on road

1 past memories food

1 fish and chips

1 fish and lemons

3 shots, april on guitar, +1 +2 0

yesterday, 1 pic on queen mary

1 bulb at church

1 april feet at church

1 falafel bucket

the worst feeling ever, oh I hate this. Yay.

wouldn\'t mind dying about now

this is me - ron

where does stuff go? - miki

Does this work - Ron

golden corral: it\'s what naps are made of - me

It's been a while, that would be forking amazing if this still works. - Ron